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Dealing With Negativity: Part 2

It takes a lot for me to get upset. The more I have succeeded in life, the more people want to try to tear me down. They will do whatever it takes to make themselves feel better about what they have accomplished in life, which usually is nothing if all they do is spend time making negative comments about others. However, no matter how hard people try, and believe me, they do try quite often, I usually just laugh, delete the comment, or just let it go in one ear and out the other, not letting it affect me in any way whatsoever. It’s interesting, really, when people will spend at least an hour of their day to write a nasty letter or email to me, telling me how I will never succeed in life, I’m worthless, yada yada, when all I do is read a sentence or two and delete the entire thing. Talk about a waste of time! Ever since I was a little kid, my parents warned me about those type of people, so I have always known how to deal with it, which is just ignore it all together, but when you begin attacking my family, the people I care about most, it’s a whole different story.

My fiance Melinda has become a very successful Beachbody Coach like I have, and is by far the most genuine, caring person I have ever known. Before she became a coach I warned her that negativity would be coming her way from others once she started seeing success with both the fitness and business. I have done my best to help her understand how negative people work, but no matter how much I tell her and attempt to prepare her, it’s different when you actually have people telling you how terrible of a person you are to your face and talking about it in public. She wasn’t raised the same way I was, so she didn’t know what to expect, and she let it get to her the first time that this happened. I remember her coming to me, crying, because some guys were making perverted, nasty comments on her YouTube video. I, of course, just told her to delete it and pay no attention to them, and to think about how sad their lives must be if they have to make comments like that about other people. The negative comments kept coming, and it irritated me, not because they were negative comments, but because people are attacking my family, the people I care about most. That, to me, is unacceptable, and I feel it’s my responsibility to defend her. However, no matter how much it irritates me, I have to stay true to how I was raised and do what is right, and that’s to just ignore the entire thing and move on, but it’s very hard because I see someone close to me getting hurt.

Yesterday, there was another instance where some asshole decided to post some nasty comments about Melinda on her Facebook page. He said some things about her that were absolutely not true, such as she doesn’t care about other people, she is fake, etc., when he doesn’t know the slightest thing about her. For those of you that know Melinda, you know that she is the most real, good-hearted person that truly cares about having a positive impact on other lives. She loves what she does as a Beachbody Coach because she can give back, and help people improve their lives not only physically, but emotionally as well. Anyone who feels that they have to make negative comments about someone who is doing good in the world leads a sorry, sorry life. Now, I’m going to help you understand why people try to bring others down.

If you ever pay close attention to the people who are around you who are always talking about other people, saying nasty things or posting negative comments on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc., you will find that they all have one thing in common: they are failures. They have done nothing productive or good in their lives, and out of complete jealousy, they will say inappropriate or mean things to try and tear that person down, bringing them down to their level. That’s how people like that work. They will act like the tough guy and that they are very successful and confident, when in reality they are torn inside, weak, confused about the direction to take in their own life, and instead of focusing on moving forward with their lives, they are too lazy, so they make excuses as to why they fail so they don’t have to put the effort into moving forward, and in the process try to make people feel the exact same way they are feeling. It just makes them feel better about the lack of success and happiness in their own lives. So next time you have someone picking on you at school, making negative comments on social media networks, or even saying nasty things to your face, smile, ignore it, walk away because now you know why these people do what they do. All you can do is pray that someday they will wake up and begin to focus their time on improving their lives and become productive rather than unproductive. Don’t let someone like that get to you because that’s exactly what they want. Don’t let them have the satisfaction of knowing that they affected you in any way. If you take a second to study the people who are most successful, you will notice that they don’t talk down about other people, but rather surround themselves with positivity and help others. That’s one of the main reasons they are successful.

Now understand that I didn’t write this post to take a stab at the people who said things about Melinda, because they aren’t worth the time, but I wrote this to help you understand why people do the things they do, and how you can handle it properly. I am always talking to others about dealing with negativity, and hopefully this post is just one more way to have an impact on their lives, and to help them become better people and handle things the right way, all without letting it affect them emotionally. If you’re someone who talks down on other people, really take a second to think about what you’re doing and how much of an idiot you are making yourself look to everyone around you. Instead of wasting your time browsing Facebook or Twitter all day, looking for someone else to bring down to your level, go to Borders, purchase “The Magic of Thinking Big,” and start spending your time doing something that will help you succeed and have a bright future.

If you’d like to talk more about this, feel free to email me at coachspence8@yahoo.com or make me your coach by clicking here!

10 comments

  1. Josh,

    I am a downline coach from you and your story really tugs at me. And I completely agree with you. Pick on me…fine. Pick on my family…that’s tough to swallow.

    You have a very mature attitude on this and you are so right on so many levels. Success begets success. Failure begets failure. I am a few years in front of you and have 3 kids and a great family. I see Melinda and yourself with your child and the great success you have and I could not be happier for you.

    One of the best pieces of advice where given to me on my wedding day. “Surround yourself with people who love being married.” this goes for so much in life. I know you have surrounded yourself with people who are successful, so we are here to support you.

    Keep up the great attitude. All my best to Melinda and yourself!

    Coach Mike Roberts

  2. I was really moved by your blog, I’ve been surrounded by many negative people in my current work environment as the economy tanked and over 75% of my company was laid off. It is great to read your prespective on how to handle these negative comments and people in your life. I find myself praying for them, hoping they they will finally see that being full of positive energy and attitudes is much more productive and draws so many more people in to your life.
    I’m a beachbody coach in Landy & Paula Urquiaga’s downline, they have really helped me focus on the positive in Beachbody. Thanks for you post.

    Robert Cunningham
    702-809-4896

  3. Great Post Josh!

  4. Garrett /

    Well said man!!!

  5. Killer… funny how I’ve been on both ends of that spectrum… not feeling good about myself and attacking people, gossiping, etc. and then my day came. Suddenly I was all over Youtube and the comments are pretty brutal.

    I used to go to these videos and read and one day I got it… why was I reading this stuff? Trying to make myself feel better by hearing how GREAT I was? Well, one comment later would be the exact opposite… how HORRIBLE I am. And the personal attacks… wow.

    But, that’s our world and thankfully I’ve got friends like you who remind us of what it all is…

    Now, I’m double your age… kudos to you for figuring this stuff out early enough. I wish I’d found this stuff at your age… but I’m ok to have found it at ALL! Some never do. But at my age, and your father’s, (as we had discussed on the trip), I look at how much time I theoretically have and there are only a certain amount of springs left for me. How am I going to spend them? Paying attention to people attacking me?

    And another thing that’s really cool about growing, becoming more wise with time, is that we see these people, forces as what they are. And as I said, I was once that person… have tendencies that lean towards that at times, even still. But now I know how to deal with it… what’s going on with ME? Why would I want to outwardly attack… it’s an inside job.

    Great post Josh… Give Melinda a big hug from Uncle Jason!

  6. Hey Josh! Great post….I’m with you! How can people make mean comments about people they dont know? It’s amazing really. I have never met you or Melinda but I can tell that you both are very caring people. Keep up the good work!

  7. @Jason. Will do bro!

  8. Nice Post Josh, went straight to this teen’s heart. I’m the kind of guy in school who get’s torn down because I;m the 4.0 student. I’m also attcks by elders, saying that I;m too young to be an Eagle Scout. The way I handle these people is pretty similar to yours, smile, pat their shoudler, and walk away.

    I love to see how smart you are on this subject, because I was due in need of a reminder. Thanks.

  9. I’m, and attacked** Sorry, feel the urge to fix typos. ^^

  10. Josh /

    @Jay. I’m glad I’m able to help bro! Never pay attention to anyone who tries to tear you down.

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