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Dealing With Negativity

Over the past few days, there have been a few young kids that have sent me messages with some concerns. I’m pretty sure they both are 15 years old, and they are down because ever since they have committed to a healthy lifestyle, they have been ridiculed by their friends and family. They asked me what they should do and how I was able to deal with people like that. This really got me thinking, and it’s truly sad that a young kid making a decision to live a healthy lifestyle can’t get the support from the people they are closest with. What is wrong with people? I will tell you what’s wrong with people, but first let me tell you about some of my personal experiences with negative people.

Negative people are everywhere, and to be honest with you, I would say that it makes up about 80% of the population, just from my personal experiences. There is not one day that goes by where I don’t hear someone complaining about something or trying to tear others down. I see it at the grocery store, on Facebook, YouTube, and sometimes even in my own family. It’s truly sad. I remember going through my first round of P90X and going out with some friends, who ended up trying to make me look bad for committing to a healthy diet. As easy at it would have been to give in and laugh at their so called jokes, I stood firm in my beliefs and told them that I was doing this for me and in 3 months from now they would be coming back to me wondering what I did to get into amazing shape. Surely enough, that’s exactly what happened.

Why do people try to bring others down? It’s called jealously. Because you have decided to better your health and living and they don’t have the right mindset to do the same, they have to do whatever it takes to bring you down to their level. It makes them feel better about themselves, and when you let them know that it got to you, you just let them win. There is not one day that goes by where I don’t get a negative comment on YouTube, and if I would let that get to me, I would be an emotional wreck, but instead, I laugh, say “I feel bad for those people,” and then delete their comments. It’s the truth, I really do feel bad for those people because instead of focusing their time on something positive and productive, they waste their time trying to tear others down. These are the people who will always be average or below average.

A buddy of mine, Tommy Mygrant, told me yesterday that someone tried to discredit his 112lbs weight loss with P90X. Are you serious? You’re going to try and tear someone down who busted his ass to accomplish everything he did? All that does is make that person look like a complete idiot. Tommy laughed at it like I did, and then moved on. He didn’t let it get to him, which is exactly how everyone should handle situations like that. So next time you have people ridiculing you for doing something positive in your life, understand that these people are jealous of you and just want to bring you down to their level because it makes them feel better. Unfortunately, there are some people that just can’t handle the ridicule, and they give in, going back to their old negative ways so they could fit in. You have to be strong and maintain a positive attitude, believing that what you’re doing is right.

I heard a great quote the other day while down at the Game Plan event in Columbus, and Larry Zimberg said “You’re as successful as 5 people closest to you.” If you have friends that always try to bring you down, it’s time to find new friends because those aren’t true friends. True friends and family would support your decisions to improve your life. Instead, try to surround yourself with people who have the same passion and beliefs. I’m not talking about just health and fitness either. This has to do with everything that you do, including your job and relationships. If you want to be successful in life, surround yourself with successful people.

For those two young kids that are dealing with negativity from their friends and family, understand that you are doing this because it’s something that you feel is right to do, and you can’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Sure, you might get made fun of for eating grilled chicken and veggies other than pizza, but how much better are you going to feel about yourself after you get results? You will feel a sense of accomplishment, and there is not much better than that feeling. Stand firm is what you believe in and NEVER let negative people bring you down to their level.

13 comments

  1. This is very true. In fact, when I first started working out for some reason I never wanted to share what I was doing. I think it was because I didn’t want to hear the negativity and thought I would just let the results do the talking.

    One of the great things I found by joining Beachbody is the built in support system. This goes back to that idea of surrounding yourself with positive energy. You can also apply this concept in EVERYTHING you do, not just fitness, but work, school, etc.

  2. Eric /

    They won’t make fun of you when you look like Tony and you are busting out crazy pull-up and pushups. No one ever told me I looked good or asked me what I was doing when I gained 50 pounds and looked liked a beached whale. They started to ask what I was doing when I lost 50 pounds and started to look like a normal person again. Eating right and working out is the way to go!!

  3. Luke /

    Very well-said Josh! I know exactly how these kids feel, constantly berated by other people for trying to change. I’m 17 years old, and my friends and family were almost impossible when I started out with P90X. I was fat for my entire life until I found P90X, and I think people started to feel insecure when they saw me improving myself. Even my own mother tried (and still tries) to make me eat crappy food because she liked how I looked when I was fat. Also, after about six months of P90X and Insanity, I still haven’t told anyone what I’ve been doing because I know I’ll get made fun of for using workout tapes (the few friends I have told all make fun of me). Because of this, now that I’ve lost about 45 pounds I have heard people say that I became anorexic…even though I’m not skinny, actually pretty well-cut! 🙂

    My advice for these kids is to just do what I do: use this negativity as a driving force. The way I see it, as people get more and more negative, that means the better I am looking! Every time people say that I’m getting too thin I just take that as a compliment, and I work harder to look that way.

    (By the way, if anyone is wondering whether these people might actually be right about me being too skinny, I weigh 140, I’m 5’6″ and I eat about 2,500 calories a day!)

  4. Josh /

    @Luke. Negativity is for sure a motivating factor, and something I’ve used many times for both my fitness transformation and business success. I’ve had so many people tell me that there is no way to be successful in this business, but I take that and uses it to push myself even harder.

  5. jayred /

    I love negativity! That’s just more fuel for my fire! I started eating better back in Feb. Completed my first round of the X on July 4th weekend. Started @225 now 174. Its funny how people are quick to say you’ve gained weight, but slow to hand out a compliment when you make a change. I just use negative comments for fuel.

  6. Brandon /

    Im 17 years old and have been working out since 15. When I first started working out I did not know much but as the years came I started learning more an more. When you decide to live a healthy life at a young age, such as 15, people do look at you weird. When your 15 I guess your suppose to be eating bad unhealthy food? I dont know I guess thats what some people think. I would go to family dinners and would’nt touch the desert and people always ask why, an so i had to explain it over,an over!! I have found i have lost a couple long distanted friends over healthy living mostly becuase of jealousie. As The years come on I really dont care what people think of me, this was my choice to live this life style and all never give it up. You should be proud of what you do,Becuase not everyone can commit their life to a healthy life style.

  7. Brandon /

    I have a little update to this. Right after i posted that last post, about 2 hours after, one of my “so called friend” tells me “change your picture punk” and of course it was me flexing. Anyways hes like “You think your so tough” and “Fight me” and a whole bunch of other words im not going to say. I could’nt beleive it!! It just shows that people are low enough to try to put people down. I wont let anyone tell me how to live my live and i hope in the years to come i hope to compete in natrual bodybuilding contests.

  8. Josh /

    @Brandon. I wouldn’t worry about it bud. They are just trying to act tough, that’s all. Don’t let it get to you and move on.

  9. Brandon /

    Thanks man, i wish their were more people like you in this world. Anyways yeah i wont let it get to me, it never does, i know how to treat these problems. Haha funny part was after the kid was talking to one of my friends and told him ” I would’nt actually fight him hes huge ” which made me laugh, but fighting does’nt get you any where, playing with their mind is way funner lol

  10. Sinthia /

    This is right on point with what I have to deal with every single day. My family is so critical and never seems to support any decision I take. My mother tells me that I will look unattractive if I do this because I will look like a man. I really try not to let it get to me but it is just so frustrating to live with people who constantly put you down. I plan to begin my P90X journey after my surgery in December. I love the advice you give and I’m a huge believer in personal development. I’m definitely adding your suggestions to my reading list.

  11. @Sinthia. ALWAYS do what you feel is right! Remember, people ONLY tear you down to make themselves feel better with the decisions they’ve made and lifestyle.

  12. Justin /

    Just wanted to say that I read at least one of your posts every single day to motivate me. You’re a HUGE inspiration to more people than I know. I even share your success story with some of my friends and family, who of course have no faith in me getting anywhere close to your success, which only motivates me more.

    I finished a round of Insanity yesterday and lost close to 20 lbs while losing inches in my waist and thighs, but gaining in my chest and arms. Started P90X today and am looking forward to the results I will see. I have LITERALLY read every article on your site (many of them more than once) so I am well aware of what to expect from this journey.

    Thanks so much for all the help and inspiration you provide. Hopefully soon I will have my own success story to motivate and inspire others the way you do!

  13. Josh /

    @Justin. I’m glad I’ve been able to help bro! That’s the reason I became a Beachbody Coach. Let me know if you ever need help with anything or have any questions! Feel free to email me at coachspence8@yahoo.com. Also, you’ve made me your coach, right?

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