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Understanding Others

This post doesn’t have much to do with fitness, but is something that is very important regarding confidence and undertsanding others. There are a few reasons why I’m doing this post, and I’m going to explain below.

Recently, a young kid has come to me for help because he is tired of being bullied at school. In fact, he has had to move schools quite a few times because of it. He wants to get into shape so that he can have the confidence and looks to not be bullied anymore. My goal for helping him is not just to get into shape, but to help him understand how people work. Back in high school, there were many times that I would be bullied. In fact, I remember a few times that kids tried to start fights with me and one even threw a basketball at my head (and hit it) in front of the entire class during gym. Back then, I didn’t know better, and just let people get the best of me, while I would just hang my head and walk away. However, as I gained more confidence in myself and matured, I started understanding how people function and the reason they do certain things. The next time something like that happened or someone got in my face, I didn’t back down. In fact, I would stand there and stare them in the eyes, letting them know that I wasn’t scared. They backed down and moved on because they didn’t know how to react because they weren’t used to someone standing up to them. The one thing that I have come to understand the most is that people will do anything to make you look bad and for them to look great. In fact, they will continue to do things to make you look worse and worse, especially if they know that it gets to you. Let’s look at another more recent example.

As most of you know, I post videos on YouTube about my P90X transformation. From time to time I get comments about how I used steroids, which of course is extremely false, and also comments about how I’m giving out wrong advice. Everyone who knows me, whether it’s family, friends, or people that I have coached, understand that all my success with P90X came from hard work and dedication to both the diet and the workouts without cheating in any way. Also, I have done tons of research about supplements, nutrition, and exercise, and have gotten enough results myself that I am very confident in the advice that I give others. Instead of getting angry when I read these comments, I delete them and move on without letting it affect me in any way. These people might believe that it’s getting to me, which they want to happen, but they don’t understand that I can care less. In fact, I think it’s funny that they just wasted their time typing out all that non-sense when it’s just going to be deleted.

Like I said above, people will do or say anything to tear you down and for them to look great. I could easily get upset and let it affect me, but I don’t want them to get any satisfaction whatsoever. The one thing that you have to understand is that the people who constantly tear down others are the ones who always feel they’re right and that they are always one step ahead of you, but in reality they are many steps behind you. These type of people will never make it anywhere in life. These people are narrow-minded, and instead of focusing on how to improve on something, they focus on tearing others down, which gets them nowhere. If you come across someone like this, there is no need to stand there and argue with them, which is what they want. Like I said, they want the satisfaction that they got to you, but what really irritates them is when you just walk away. Think about everyone you know who is like this and then think about whether or not they have been successful in life. 9 times out of 10, these people are either average or below average. Now, think about the successful people that you know. What do they all have in common? One thing you will notice is that they don’t talk down about others. Instead of wasting time talking about others, they utilize their time and focus on improving things, whether it’s for their business or themselves.

If you are someone that is always talking down about others or tries to intimidate others, think about this post and if doing that is actually beneficial. It’s not, and all it does it waste your time. If you want to succeed in life, start helping others instead of tearing them down, and do things to improve your own life as well. If you’re someone that is constantly bullied, stand up for yourself and don’t let others get the best of you. Build confidence in yourself and understand that these people won’t make it anywhere in life, and will always be unhappy.


  1. jstnthrguy /


  2. Ryan Callaghan /

    i love you, your so right.

  3. Great Post Josh !!

    I used to be exactly the same and then my dad actually told me one day that instead of taking what other say to heart and letting it effect you, step back a few steps and look at it through their eyes.

    By looking at it from their perspective it becomes quickly apparent that most of the time they are far more insecure than you are and more often than not, say these things because they are either jealous of something you have, or have achieved, or are just far more insecure about themselves than they try to appear.

    once again great post and i agree 100%.

    Feel confident in yourself and reflect that in your life and others will notice. Positive or negative, the reactions and comments others make to you are often an indication that they value that part of your life. positive comments mean that they respect the determination or dedication you have put in to that, and negative often show their insecurity towards you and their jealousy.

    just my 2 cents !

  4. It´s incredible how you help people believe in themselves and gain self-confidence. No wonder I chose you as my coach! 😉

  5. Nathan Horne /

    Wow man your just a great person, awsome results from p90x by the way!

  6. Thanks man!

  7. So well said. 100% correct. You’re a great example for us Josh, thanks!

  8. Jeremy Skatzes /

    Hey thanks for sharing that Josh, but the fact of the matter is, is that almost all bullies or haters or people just looking to tare others down, do it not because they feel one step ahead but they feel inferior. Hating, bullying and being a complete douche bag stems from insecurity and nothing else. Your right most of them want what others have, which isn’t money or fame but a sense of accomplishment and wanting to be needed. That’s why there’s haters in this world, to tell us with accomplishment and drive that we’re doing something right. 😉

  9. @Jeremy. What I was trying to say is that they want you to feel that they are one step ahead, but in reality they are very insecure. I’ve met many people who look strong on the outside, but are torn apart on the inside.

  10. saiffRuhelele /

    just read the thread! Awesome job.

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